oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
