is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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