That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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