I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
