i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
