There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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