Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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