im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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