guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
