She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
