i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
