He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
