Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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