Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
