I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
