What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
