Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
