im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize