is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
