Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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