once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
