DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you never un-have a 4some
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
