To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
