I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
