HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
so much tequila, so little girl.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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