Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my shit smells like andre
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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