i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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