Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize