The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there's paper in my vomit.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
