It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
