OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
