Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
