My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
