you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
