last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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