I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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