Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
