I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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