We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
