Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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