I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
