Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
