I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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