On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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