piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
