im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
