hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
