We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
