i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
