...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you traded sex for a burrito?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
