Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
