More tranny stories later!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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