I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
