so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
