Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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