I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
