I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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