oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
