im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i came on her dog
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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