The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
