Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
