I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
