yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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