he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
