i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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