he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize