So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
