dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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