I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I am morally bankrupt
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
