I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
