Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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