wakey wakey hands off snakey
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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