Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
