Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
someone owes me an orgasm
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
