I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Is it because I queefed?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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