SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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