I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
