You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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