Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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