there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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