You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
